You know it’s cold when…
· You have to really scrape to get little flakes of
butter and you must carve your peanut butter in order to put some on your toast
· You are thankful you bought hiking boots a size
too big since you need to wear 2-3 pairs of thick socks every day
· Your air pillow is deflated by the middle of the
night, and it’s not because there is a leak
· Your -10⁰ C (14⁰ F) sleeping bag is just not
cutting it, and you have to put your down jacket and a fleece around your feet
· You wear your balaclava (face mask) to bed and
in combination with your hooded sleeping bag, you resemble a ninja mummy. See
picture.
· You put all your clothes for the next day in
your sleeping bag with you to keep them warmer and yet it still feels like you
stepped into a refrigerator when you add those layers on in the morning.
· You don’t have a cold, but your nose runs 24/7, thereby
creating a scaly Rudolph nose by the end of the week.
· You don’t have to move your toothbrush up and
down or right and left. You just have to put it in your mouth and let your
shivers do the rest.
· The choice between going to the outside toilet
to relieve your bladder or staying in bed and having your bladder keep you
awake all night suddenly feels like a life or death decision, and you spend at
least 20 minutes deliberating.
· Your teeth hurt every time you sip normal
drinking water, and even the tiniest pills are hard to get down because your
mouth seems to go into hypothermic shock when you try to swallow said water
that quickly.
· You change your underwear right when you get to
camp because it is the warmest part of the day and exposing that much skin once
the sun goes down seems ill-advised.
· Your muscles are sore, but the thought of
Icy-Hot is repulsive. Why would you want anything icy touching your body?
· Even lukewarm beverages and dishes are steaming,
and you can see your breath during normal conversation. Thus, the dining tent
soon has the ambiance of a hookah lounge.
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