Friday, January 24, 2014

You Know It's Cold When...

(Inspired by our recent trip climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro)
You know it’s cold when…
·   You have to really scrape to get little flakes of butter and you must carve your peanut butter in order to put some on your toast
·   You are thankful you bought hiking boots a size too big since you need to wear 2-3 pairs of thick socks every day
·   Your air pillow is deflated by the middle of the night, and it’s not because there is a leak
·   Your -10⁰ C (14⁰ F) sleeping bag is just not cutting it, and you have to put your down jacket and a fleece around your feet
·   You wear your balaclava (face mask) to bed and in combination with your hooded sleeping bag, you resemble a ninja mummy. See picture.
·   You put all your clothes for the next day in your sleeping bag with you to keep them warmer and yet it still feels like you stepped into a refrigerator when you add those layers on in the morning.
·   You don’t have a cold, but your nose runs 24/7, thereby creating a scaly Rudolph nose by the end of the week.
·   You don’t have to move your toothbrush up and down or right and left. You just have to put it in your mouth and let your shivers do the rest.
·   The choice between going to the outside toilet to relieve your bladder or staying in bed and having your bladder keep you awake all night suddenly feels like a life or death decision, and you spend at least 20 minutes deliberating.
·   Your teeth hurt every time you sip normal drinking water, and even the tiniest pills are hard to get down because your mouth seems to go into hypothermic shock when you try to swallow said water that quickly.
·   You change your underwear right when you get to camp because it is the warmest part of the day and exposing that much skin once the sun goes down seems ill-advised.
·   Your muscles are sore, but the thought of Icy-Hot is repulsive. Why would you want anything icy touching your body?
·   Even lukewarm beverages and dishes are steaming, and you can see your breath during normal conversation. Thus, the dining tent soon has the ambiance of a hookah lounge.

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